In Vacant or in Pensive Mood

I picked up a small clove of garlic from the cutting board and held it between the fingertips of my right hand while I narrowed my eyes and aimed a knife to its back with my left hand. The sharp edge of the knife sunk into the juicy body of the garlic, but as it pushed down further to halve it, both my hands dropped what they were holding and my feet rushed me to the kitchen sink. I let the running water from the tap wash the fresh cut the knife had created on the tip of my finger, and a tiny splotch of red appeared on its surface. Then I rushed to find a clean cloth which I wrapped around the bleeding finger. All of this happened as if my body had gone into 'Auto' mode, my mind hardly processing what was happening. When I finally did get   the chance the sit down (and quieten my husband who was yelling at me in panic),  I thought about the pain that had triggered my actions over the last few minutes.  What is the purpose of pain, anyway? Doesn't it sound ...

On some days, my heart is overwhelmed and my thoughts are a blur. For no particular reason. My body goes to auto-pilot mode on such days. I can ride from home to work without noticing a thing. I can sit through the day at my desk without getting a single task done. S PA C E D OUT. Such an apt word. Not just because I am mentally absent from earth (and therefore "spaced"), but also because my mind itself looks like a black oblivion, with thoughts, like fiery red celestial particles of dust/rocks, swirling around in it. I take to writing on such days. An empty word document in front of me is like therapy. Like some force that can calm the thoughts that are in constant motion within my head. They slow down, coming forward to show themselves, word after word, in front of my mind's eye. I type each word I see, putting them down, not knowing what would come next. As the words line up next to each other on the blank page, I begin to see what they mean. Clarity. Th...

I usually take between three to six days to read a book. But there are exceptions. Some books are so engrossing that I just have to read them at a stretch, from cover to cover, in a single day. On the other extreme, there are books that I begin to read but get bored of along the way, leave behind, and forget about forever! There are also books, like those of Charles Dickens, that use a vocabulary which require too many dictionary references - so I read them in parts. The last book I read was different - it was the book that took me the longest to read. It was the first book I started to read soon after my wedding. I finished reading it a few days ago, eight long months later. Apart from the fact that it was a whopping 447 pages long, and I had no idea that life would be so different after the wedding, the reason I took so long to read this book is because it was...haunting. Here's my review, which has been posted on Goodreads: I had no idea what I was getting into...

Since the time I remember, I've always been one of those persons who lived far away. When I was a kid, my home was only about 5 kms from school, but when compared to the other kids who could just walk up to school in a matter of 5 minutes, I lived far away. As I grew up over the years, the distance I've had to travel on a regular basis has also progressively grown. I did my Bachelor's degree in a place about 10 kms from my home, my first job was a little farther, and the college where I did my Master's degree a bit more. Well, you get the picture! It has never been far enough to stay in a hostel, but it has always been quite a time-consuming commute. Now, I travel roughly about 45 kilometres every day in my commute between home and work. Sometimes, I choose to ride my two-wheeler, sometimes I choose to travel by public transport. Either way, my journey is long enough for my mind to sink in and get lost in a world of thoughts. I have found that these journ...

Two months ago, on 20 th February 2014, Alan Joash Samuel, our dear friend and classmate, passed away due to Rabies. The weeks that preceded it, and those that followed, have been the toughest phase of my life, emotionally. I tried to write, but I wasn’t in a state of mind to blog about it. Now that I am back here after a long break from blogging, I feel that it would be unjust if I don’t record the event that impacted my life in such a big way. So, I’m putting together here what I wrote at different points during the last two months. It’s been over a week from that dismal day, yet our hearts refuse to be comforted. His sudden and unexpected death has left us all shattered. We didn't get a chance to tell him how much he meant to us, how precious his role in influencing our lives. W e didn’t have the time to bid him goodbye. Even though my mind is still fogged by the sorrow weighing my heart down, I now recollect the events of the past few months. In late October 2013,...

You know what the biggest curse to a writer is? Not having enough time to write! Having to live so many different roles in life that are apparently more important than writing for one’s pleasure, especially when the muses are at work. Take my case, for instance. My primary role, currently, is that of a student. And like all students, I have a lot of academic work on the top of my priority list, whether I like it or not. Whether or not writing is my passion, I need to put my assignments first in line. Here’s a situation I go through pretty often. It is about 8:00 pm, and I am just getting back from college, after a hard day. I have assignments on my mind, and tests that I need to prepare for. I am trying to plan out the few hours left in front of me before I have to start on a 2-hour journey back to college early the next morning. I have to stay up the whole night, I decide. There is no way I’m sleeping tonight! Worried thoughts haunt my mind, and I’m feeling pretty beat up already. ...