In Vacant or in Pensive Mood

When he first told me he loved me, I made him a list of all the things I consider as flaws in myself. I had warned him that I am not perfect - that I was probably not who he thought I was. He had a choice to take back what he had told me. His answer was a pleasantly surprising, "I know", amidst contagious laughter. He was going to stay and love me anyway. Even though we ended up laughing off the list, looking back, I think it was important that I set the record straight at that early stage. Because I didn't want him to come with the perception of finding in me a perfect human. Because I'm not. And I know it. What we often see in this world are couples who mask their real selves to win over each other. But alas, for how long can one hide? It is true that some day your partner is going to see you for who you are. Will they continue to love you then? Oh, to be loved for who we are is a wonderful feeling! Simply knowing that someone loves us, despite our sho...

One of the perks of married life is this: when you get married, your blessings double! You get another home, another set of parents, another family, another set of friends. Sounds too good to be true, does it? It's true that when you get married, you may (or may not) get to choose your partner. But you definitely cannot choose the family, relatives and friends that your partner enters your life with. It's easy to judge, say that they are not your type, pore into their mistakes, and generally complain or wear a long face when you have to meet (some of) them. We all do it sometimes. But I'm learning that it takes courage to love your partner's family and welcome your partner's friends like they are your own. It won't always be easy, not with everyone. Here's a friendly tip from someone who is also trying and learning each day: Remember that no one is perfect. Not even you! Know that there is some good in everyone - look for it, focus on i...

How often have you claimed to love someone but found it difficult to forgive him/her when something went wrong? Think about some of your friends, who are no longer your friends because they wronged you in some way or the other. What about your relationship with your partner? Is your love still as strong as it used to be, or has it deteriorated with time and inevitable wrongs on either side? We all know that no one is perfect, except God. When someone blames us for something wrong we have done, we immediately point to this fact as an excuse. We say things like, "Everyone makes mistakes", "As if you are so perfect!", and so on. Then why is it that we, despite knowing all of these things, find it hard to forgive? Are you opening your mouth now to tell me that you do forgive the people you love? Because you must, and according to the Bible, love isn’t love without forgiveness. If you read 1 Corinthians 13, you will find the various qualities of love listed o...

Counting down the days to my wedding, I've been experiencing the jitters like every other bride-to-be! However, I have something I like to call 'the Bible advantage' (although how often I use it is quite a question). The Bible advantage simply means that I know the Bible (ok I know 10% or maybe lesser) and have access to its wisdom any time. When I am have worries or doubts, I can turn to the Word for peace and assurance. One of the biggest challenges that any couple will have to deal with, whether it is in the days leading up to the wedding or after, is the problem with "lies". No, not that the couple will be lying to each other (that is a different challenge), but that there will be voices in their heads that try to confuse them about the decisions they are making, making them question the love they receive from their partner, and making them jump to conclusions when they see (or hear) their partner do (or say) something. Most often, it is difficult for th...