In Vacant or in Pensive Mood

One of the perks of married life is this: when you get married, your blessings double! You get another home, another set of parents, another family, another set of friends. Sounds too good to be true, does it? It's true that when you get married, you may (or may not) get to choose your partner. But you definitely cannot choose the family, relatives and friends that your partner enters your life with. It's easy to judge, say that they are not your type, pore into their mistakes, and generally complain or wear a long face when you have to meet (some of) them. We all do it sometimes. But I'm learning that it takes courage to love your partner's family and welcome your partner's friends like they are your own. It won't always be easy, not with everyone. Here's a friendly tip from someone who is also trying and learning each day: Remember that no one is perfect. Not even you! Know that there is some good in everyone - look for it, focus on i

Counting down the days to my wedding, I've been experiencing the jitters like every other bride-to-be! However, I have something I like to call 'the Bible advantage' (although how often I use it is quite a question). The Bible advantage simply means that I know the Bible (ok I know 10% or maybe lesser) and have access to its wisdom any time. When I am have worries or doubts, I can turn to the Word for peace and assurance. One of the biggest challenges that any couple will have to deal with, whether it is in the days leading up to the wedding or after, is the problem with "lies". No, not that the couple will be lying to each other (that is a different challenge), but that there will be voices in their heads that try to confuse them about the decisions they are making, making them question the love they receive from their partner, and making them jump to conclusions when they see (or hear) their partner do (or say) something. Most often, it is difficult for th

She would be sitting outside the shelter home building, under the only tree that dared to brave the sun glaring down on the old school courtyard. As soon as I push the large, rusty gate open, I would find her fix her gaze on me, and wait patiently as I made my way across the courtyard to where she sat. I would smile, and sync my lips to a muted, “ Saaptingala” and gesture with one hand towards my mouth, as she would grab my other hand and literally drag me into the building. Once inside the empty dormitory room, lined only with the meagre belongings of about twenty old destitute women, she would spread a mat on the floor and seat me down on it. We had a unique connection, this old lady (Ammayamma) and I. She would move her toothless mouth in a multitude of directions, not knowing what sounds emerged from it as she tried to communicate with me. I would attempt to understand what she said, and occasionally needed some help from her roommates. She would be telling me about meeting h

I am dreamer. When I say that, I mean it in every sense of the word. I dream when I am sleeping, even if it is when I’m just accidentally dozing off in a bus, and I dream almost every minute that I’m awake! I don’t know what reason to attribute to this quality of mine; it could be because I spent most of my childhood playing with myself since I had no siblings until I was 12. It could also be my left-handedness, as you may have heard that left-handed people are prone to be directed by the right brain, responsible for imagination and all things creative! Well, whatever the reason maybe, if I was asked to describe myself in one word, I would say “DREAMER”. Picture: Mpho Mojapelo on Unsplash I love my dreams – when I am sleeping, they turn my eyelids into my very own theatre and play out intertwined stories that are illogical, but are also so full of sense. When my mother wakes me up in the middle of a dream, I go right back to sleep just so that I can finish watching the r

Two months ago, on 20 th February 2014, Alan Joash Samuel, our dear friend and classmate, passed away due to Rabies. The weeks that preceded it, and those that followed, have been the toughest phase of my life, emotionally. I tried to write, but I wasn’t in a state of mind to blog about it. Now that I am back here after a long break from blogging, I feel that it would be unjust if I don’t record the event that impacted my life in such a big way. So, I’m putting together here what I wrote at different points during the last two months. It’s been over a week from that dismal day, yet our hearts refuse to be comforted. His sudden and unexpected death has left us all shattered. We didn't get a chance to tell him how much he meant to us, how precious his role in influencing our lives. W e didn’t have the time to bid him goodbye. Even though my mind is still fogged by the sorrow weighing my heart down, I now recollect the events of the past few months. In late October 2013,