In Vacant or in Pensive Mood

On some days, my heart is overwhelmed and my thoughts are a blur. For no particular reason. My body goes to auto-pilot mode on such days. I can ride from home to work without noticing a thing. I can sit through the day at my desk without getting a single task done. S PA C E D OUT. Such an apt word. Not just because I am mentally absent from earth (and therefore "spaced"), but also because my mind itself looks like a black oblivion, with thoughts, like fiery red celestial particles of dust/rocks, swirling around in it. I take to writing on such days. An empty word document in front of me is like therapy. Like some force that can calm the thoughts that are in constant motion within my head. They slow down, coming forward to show themselves, word after word, in front of my mind's eye. I type each word I see, putting them down, not knowing what would come next. As the words line up next to each other on the blank page, I begin to see what they mean. Clarity. Th...

When he first told me he loved me, I made him a list of all the things I consider as flaws in myself. I had warned him that I am not perfect - that I was probably not who he thought I was. He had a choice to take back what he had told me. His answer was a pleasantly surprising, "I know", amidst contagious laughter. He was going to stay and love me anyway. Even though we ended up laughing off the list, looking back, I think it was important that I set the record straight at that early stage. Because I didn't want him to come with the perception of finding in me a perfect human. Because I'm not. And I know it. What we often see in this world are couples who mask their real selves to win over each other. But alas, for how long can one hide? It is true that some day your partner is going to see you for who you are. Will they continue to love you then? Oh, to be loved for who we are is a wonderful feeling! Simply knowing that someone loves us, despite our sho...

Counting down the days to my wedding, I've been experiencing the jitters like every other bride-to-be! However, I have something I like to call 'the Bible advantage' (although how often I use it is quite a question). The Bible advantage simply means that I know the Bible (ok I know 10% or maybe lesser) and have access to its wisdom any time. When I am have worries or doubts, I can turn to the Word for peace and assurance. One of the biggest challenges that any couple will have to deal with, whether it is in the days leading up to the wedding or after, is the problem with "lies". No, not that the couple will be lying to each other (that is a different challenge), but that there will be voices in their heads that try to confuse them about the decisions they are making, making them question the love they receive from their partner, and making them jump to conclusions when they see (or hear) their partner do (or say) something. Most often, it is difficult for th...