Sleep Struggles: A Saga

Imagine you are 1.

You have been busy all day, exploring your home and the world around you.

You were running, jumping, climbing and, of course, falling.

But you were having fun!

So you didn't let anything stop you.

You had enough energy and enthusiasm,

To pull yourself up after every fall,

To continue playing, no crying at all.

Now it's night time.

And your legs are starting to ache.

You're trying to sleep,

But that mosquito bite, it's also keeping you awake.

You wake up. Multiple times. 

Your only relief is that, each time you wake up, Mamma is there beside you. 

Each time you wake up, she comforts you.

When you point to your leg, she examines it,

She puts lotion on it, massages it, prays over it.

As she works her magic, you fall back asleep.

It has only been a while.

But now that weird thing, you put in your mouth--the one that mom told you not to--is making your tummy feel weirdly.

You wake up again. You, and Mamma, both!

She holds you close to her body,

Feeds you, rocks you back and forth.

You feel better. And you are exhausted, so you fall back asleep.

Now you start seeing dreams, confusing ones.

It's upsetting. You want to sleep, you try.

So without opening your eyes, you sit up and you cry.

Until you feel your Mamma's familiar touch, her hands reaching for you.

She lays you back down and, patting you steadily, she hums.

You know that when Mamma is there, you don't need to be afraid.

You feel safe. You fall back asleep.

---

Now, imagine you are the Mamma.

You have had a long hard day, working jobs and taking care of your child's needs.

You still have some pending work, which you'd hoped to get done after she sleeps.

But no matter what you try, she is waking up every hour.

Your arms hurt from rocking her,

She is a newborn no more!

Your breasts are sore from multiple feeds, 

Because now she's teething, 

Wanting to bite everything!

You have tried everything, nothing is working.

You are starting to get angry. You can't be fully blamed,

Because your body and mind are drained.

All you wish for is a little time to yourself; a little to rest,

And a little to prepare for the day that comes next.

But looks like you can do neither tonight,

Oh, it's going to be a long, long night.

Your instinct is to yell at your child, or give her a whack.

Why is she giving you a hard time?

Then you remember, that you read somewhere once, 

That she is actually having a hard time.

So you take a step back. See yourself in her place.

You realise, she isn't intentionally staying awake. 

Something is bothering her,

And she's just not old enough to explain.

Her only relief is that you are by her side.

She is sure that you'll understand without having to explain.

She believes you'll help her get over this tide.

When she opens her big eyes and sees nothing but darkness around her,

Just knowing that her Mamma is beside her,

Removes her fear, eases half her pain.

So you take a deep cleansing breath.

In through the nose, out through the mouth.

You say a little (or a long) prayer. For rest for her and, for you, strength.

You sit up and lean back on a pillow.

You place your little one in your lap, where she can rest without worry.

You keep your dress open so she can suckle when she wants.

You take your phone out and watch Netflix on mute (with subtitles),

Till the night and its troubles go away.

As you hold your child close, you also hold on to the promises of other mothers who say.

It gets better along the way!