In Vacant or in Pensive Mood

As an introvert, I've lost count of the number of times I felt misunderstood. People have assumed that I'm stuck up, timid, antisocial, boring or even plain sad. Yes, I was a quiet student in class, I did prefer sitting by the window and enjoying the view outside to dancing in the middle of the bus during class trips, I still do opt out of large "group" activities. What does this make me? It makes me a good listener, a person who values soulful experiences, someone who chooses heart-to-heart conversations and close-knitted friendships. And, in my own unique ways, I believe I've made a difference where it matters to me. Over the years, I've also learned to grow and adapt to demanding situations. I've learned to fight for my little space in a world full of extroverts. But I do wish my journey had been easier; I wish I hadn't been made to feel like there was something wrong with me. Even among people who claim to know me well (because they know me for yea

An overnight train journey from Chennai to Chengannur and a couple of long bus rides later, we would arrive at the bottom of the hillock on which my paternal grandparents lived. Even as a little child, I would know when we were close, thanks to the unmistakable scent emanating from the coconut oil factory in the vicinity. This, followed by a short, bumpy autorickshaw ride up the hillock (during which I'd imagine falling off the vehicle into the valley below), we would reach our destination. For another week or so, my parents and I would stay here, in a quiet house made with large stone bricks and unpolished walls. I'd wake up quite late in the mornings and watch from my window as my strong grandfather descended down the hill, wearing a shirt covered in rubber stains, a lungi and Hawaii chappals (flip flops) - a bucket of pasty, white liquid in his hand. I would wave at him and then run out to brush my teeth outside by the washing stone - a place from where I could watch Appacha