Of Butterflies and Seeds - My Dreams vs. God’s Plans

I am dreamer.

When I say that, I mean it in every sense of the word. I dream when I am sleeping, even if it is when I’m just accidentally dozing off in a bus, and I dream almost every minute that I’m awake! I don’t know what reason to attribute to this quality of mine; it could be because I spent most of my childhood playing with myself since I had no siblings until I was 12. It could also be my left-handedness, as you may have heard that left-handed people are prone to be directed by the right brain, responsible for imagination and all things creative! Well, whatever the reason maybe, if I was asked to describe myself in one word, I would say “DREAMER”.

Picture: Mpho Mojapelo on Unsplash

I love my dreams – when I am sleeping, they turn my eyelids into my very own theatre and play out intertwined stories that are illogical, but are also so full of sense. When my mother wakes me up in the middle of a dream, I go right back to sleep just so that I can finish watching the rest of it!

The other kind of dreams, the ones I see when I’m awake, are also not always very logical, but they speak volumes on the kind of life I want to live. These dreams are the ones that you give birth to in your heart, the ones that are shaped by your experiences, the things you read about, and the things you see. They are the dreams that help you set goals, plan your future, and even mould your personality. In a way, you are what you dream! These are the kind of dreams that the likes of Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam and Martin Luther King, Jr. encouraged us to see. These are the dreams people ask you about when you are a child (“Who do you want to be when you grow up?”), in job interviews (“Where do you see yourself five years from now”?) and in many other such occasions. These are the dreams that the world glorifies, even celebrates!

I have never been one to worry if my dreams don’t come true, because my dreams are endless. If one doesn’t work out, I go right in to make the next one come true! So for me, dreaming is always a happy thing, a happy place inside me! Overall, dreaming seems like a fantastic idea, right? Well, that’s exactly what I thought too, up until a few days ago.

It was just another weekday, and I was checking Facebook at lunchtime. I received a notification saying that I had memories to look back on (which is my new favourite feature on FB!), so I clicked it to see what was in store for the day. A picture of me in Thailand appeared, with the location marked to Buathong waterfall which I had really enjoyed visiting. One click led to other clicks, and I was soon lost in the Internet, meandering unknown spaces until I landed on the website of a guy who had quit his job in the US to move to Thailand. He had described his awesome life there, and I was carried away into another world of dreams! Even after lunchtime, I found myself thinking about the possibilities of moving to Thailand and what I would do if I got there. Not that I hadn’t thought of quitting my job and just travelling the world before!

Still high from the new idea of moving to Thailand, I sent a spontaneous text message to my best friend (and more, if you know what I mean). My message read, “Let’s move to Thailand!!!!” (yes, I used too many exclamation points to scare any guy away, but not this one! <3) The reply I received made my ecstatic, racing mind come to a screeching halt! It had only four words, “Pray about it Shona”. That’s it, no tassels attached.

This was the point when I began to question my entire life spent dreaming. I had always just dreamed without limits or boundaries, without even second thoughts. I had chased them as a child would chase butterflies; I had caught a few and had missed many, but it didn’t matter as long as there were many butterflies to run behind.

For all these years, my dreams and expectations of the future have kept changing with time. Now that I am 25, and expected to “settle down” (Gosh! I hate that term!), I realise that the dreams I decide to pursue are the ones I ought to stick with; they will be my BIG decisions, the ones that determine the REST OF MY LIFE! Yet, not for a moment had I paused to think if I was dreaming responsibly.

On that day, I realised that dreams are like seeds – you find them, sow them, nurture them, and expect them to grow and bear fruit. But darling, the person who makes the trees grow isn’t you! Any tree that grows and bears fruit is the handiwork of the Creator and not the farmer. So, it would be wise for each one of us who is sowing seeds to consult with the Creator if he plans for the seed to grow into a fulfilling tree. Simply put, it is ALWAYS good to consult with God if the dream you so eagerly want to sow and nurture in your heart is part of God’s plan for your life.

I am not saying that dreaming is bad. I still stick by my verdict that dreaming is a fantastic idea. I am still truly, madly, deeply a fan of dreams. Dreams are also, more often than not, ways through which God shows us what plans he has for our life. That being said, not all the seeds we find on our way are meant for us. It would save us all a lot of time and energy if we check with Him if the dream we find on our way, glistening and full of possibilities, is a dream meant for us. Before you start running behind it like a loony child chasing a butterfly, clear your head and ask this question, “Is this dream a part of God’s plan for my life?”. If He gives you the thumbs up, go ahead and nothing can stop you from making that dream grow and flourish in all its glory! But if He asks you to leave it behind, no matter how beautiful the dream looks, remember to let it go.

I know I am taking a stand which contradicts the world where dreams are meant to be wild, without bounds. But I might as well dream the dreams that God has dreamt for me. From today, I have decided to dream responsibly. Maturity, here I come!