HORN OK PLEASE

When I was in college, I had the opportunity to meet and interact with a few students from the USA who were taking classes at my department as part of a study abroad programme. These students made many observations during their time here and would discuss them with us - sometimes asking us questions about things they saw, sometimes pointing out to stark differences in practices they saw between their country and ours. And as it turns out, India and USA are worlds apart in many ways.

One of the things these students pointed out to was the fact that motorists, in India, honked a lot. And guess what? Apparently, in the USA, it's considered "rude" if someone uses the horn - unless in an emergency situation! Oh Indians and Americans - how different we are!

If you've stayed in India, even for a day, you would have noticed that here, even the rowdiest of motor vehicles - the lorries/trucks - politely ask you to "Horn OK Please".  In most other commercial use four-wheelers, you would have seen a bit more abrupt, but equally loud and clear message, to "Sound Horn". 

Why is it that, in India, we find honking so necessary?

Well, for starters, our cities are overpopulated and our roads are always crowded. Secondly, there is really no such concept as lane discipline in India - we simply find gaps and move in, sometimes on the left, sometimes on the right, sometimes in between. Thirdly, we have more two-wheelers than four-wheelers (unlike in the USA). Fourthly, our roads are not just for motorists but also for hawkers, dogs, cows and (sadly) homeless people. Fifthly, we don't have parking meters and only some (posh) places can afford the extra space for designated parking - so we park anywhere we want and add to the congestion. And finally, half of the population (both motorists and pedestrians included) doesn't bother with the traffic rules when they can help it. Indians, don't start hating on me now, you know this is true.

One of the first things my dad taught me when I was learning to ride my Scooty was to keep my left thumb out at all times, so it always hovers over the horn. In that way, I'll not lose even a millisecond when faced with a situation to use it. And throughout my ten years as a rider (and honker), I've found this to be very solid advice.

In every close encounter with a lane-breaker or rule-breaker motorist, where I've had to consciously put all my effort on hitting the brakes, my thumb has automatically pressed hard against the horn - letting out a timely warning! That's how important a horn is in a motorist's life!

So you see, in India, honking becomes a necessity, for a number of reasons. A horn is used to communicate many messages with fellow motorists as well as pedestrians. Here are a few examples to illustrate.

To fellow motorists:

• A bip-bip-bip-bip means, "Hey, I am overtaking you now - stay on your lane!"
• A beeeeeeep means, "Hey, you seem to be switching lanes in front of me. Careful, because I'm right behind you."
• A beep-beep means, "I'm turning blindly here, hope no one is on the other side and if you are, tell me!"
• Another beeeeeeeep, but in a different context (at the signal when the people on the other side are already getting started before the signal turns red for you) means, "Let me go, let me go...it's not yet RED!" 
• A bip-bip-beeeep means, "Why are you on your phone/talking to a fellow motorist/being distracted? Get back in the game!"

To pedestrians:

• Beeeeep....beeeeep means, "Waaaaaaiiiiiit! Don't cross now, my brakes will be ineffective at this speed. Don't tell me I didn't warn you!"
• Repurposing the one used on distracted motorists, a bip-bip-beeeep to a pedestrian means, "Excuse me, stop acting like you own the road and walk on the side, would you!"

To animals on the road:

• Depending on the kind of person you are, you either use a long beeeeeep like a cuss word, or a more kindly bip-bip-bip to a dog in your way to say "Wake up doggie! Move fast, don't die under my wheels!"
• Something similar to the previous one to say, "Excuse me, Mrs. Cow, could you please...?"

Like I said, these are only a few of many scenarios when the horn is used as a means of communication.

There are people use the horn in rude, bully ways too. There are those who wake up late (and mad) in the morning and try to honk their way through traffic. Or ones that are simply jerks who want to scare you and make you run for your life and clear out the lane before they run over you!

In any case, I think it would be fair to say that, in India, honking is a language - a language of motorists, that goes beyond city and state borders. As with any other human language, how you use it depends entirely on you!