Love? Say What?

Love; what can I say about it that hasn't already been said before?

So much has been said about this feeling, this state of being, this emotional package...through books, poems, movies, plays, and songs. Yet, somehow, there is nothing as indescribable as love, nothing as intricate, and nothing as complex. Love makes everything so simple, and still somehow complicates everything.

I grew up with my fair share of Indian cinema and English novels, and I have always believed in true love. However, I have never thought that love was for me. Like The Monkees sang (Neil Diamond's lines), I thought love was "meant for someone else and not for me". I never thought I could ever fall in love. You know what I mean, right? I had always imagined that I would marry a man my parents find for me and that I would just eventually learn to love (or rather, tolerate) him. I didn't think I would ever have to worry about standing in front of my parents, telling them that I like a guy, and facing their wrath over such an issue. I always thought I was too ordinary, or worse, even a little weird, to be found so perfect to someone, that he would fall head over heels for me.

Although I have seen my classmates date from as early as Class VIII (in India, this is really early), and get in and out of relationships through the years, I never considered any of those 'love'. However, when I got into college, I saw some of my cousins fall in love, and I became a big fan of these couples. Why? Because they were so good for each other - they were like the two pieces of a puzzle that make the picture complete! To someone who really knew them and loved them, these couples made sense. They made each other better; It's true, a seemingly ordinary guy becomes the best man in the world, and a seemingly ordinary girl becomes the most beautiful woman in the universe when they are in love.

Before you blame it on the old "love is blind" saying, hold on and hear me out. Attraction blinds you to who the person really is, because all that it sees is the superficial. Being skin deep, it doesn't see beyond, and when such a relationship goes through troubled waters, it isn't sturdy enough to hold out the storm. Love (the real kind), sees everything and still makes THE choice. Everything is seen, the good, bad and the ugly, but love chooses to see the curves and edges as what make the piece the perfect fit for the puzzle.

From my personal analysis of all the relationships I have seen during my 2.5 decades on earth (and one of my own, which is happily ongoing *yaay me*) , my verdict on love is this - love is a choice. It is a choice that involves knowing the other person inside out, it is a choice that involves making an unwavering decision. So, if you aren't old enough to vote (because the country doesn't trust you to make an informed decision), you aren't old enough to call what you feel 'love' - unless you are super stubborn and determined (like the few exceptions I have seen), which is the only way you can make it last long enough to grow into love. That's why boyfriends of teen years often disappear after a few parties.

Most importantly, you need to realise the difference between the perfect guy/girl and the perfect guy/girl for you - the former doesn't exist, the latter is born with a choice. Find that one who fills the gaps in your puzzle piece, the one with the perfect imperfections, the one who is crazy on days when you are a bore and can remain sane on days when you lose it.

All the best! ;)