Emotional Whirlpool

There are some people who are so special to you that you consider them to be your own. So much so, that when you see another person getting close to a special someone, you feel pin pricks in your heart. You feel engulfed by a bitterness so great, it manifests in the form of an inexplicable rage radiating like fire from your eyes, your lips tighten and fists clench, as you try to pretend that you aren't hurt. Inevitably, though, the hurt takes over, your stern face melting through a quivering chin, the fire in the eyes replaced by the glistening of tears which, unable to contain themselves, pour out like silent rivers across the face. Silent rivers, spilled in quiet loneliness.

It doesn't end there! Getting more dangerous by the minute, the mixture of emotions take shape into words, spitting out of the mouth or spilling out from the ends of our fingers and on to a medium that reaches that person, your special person. A couple of thoughts did occur to you about hurting the intruder - maybe a tight slap across the face, or maybe a shove from a moving train! But no, it didn't occur to you that your emotional spillage is causing your special someone, the last person you ever think about hurting, to hurt big time.

When the storm inside you finally settles down on having tired itself out, rationality wearily sinks in. Questions rise, as does an eyebrow. Was so much emotion necessary? Why did you react so violently? Was it jealousy, possessiveness, protective instinct? Was it the feeling that this person belongs to you? Does anyone belong to you? Who owns people, anyway? The train of questioning thoughts comes to a screeching halt as the answer to the last question appears like an elephant in front of the tracks. Oh!

Getting down on your knees, in surrender to the One who owns you and the special person and every other person and thing in the world, you hang your head in shame. You apologise for having claimed to own someone who belongs to Him alone; and then you begin to be thankful because He has so graciously given this person to you, to bring a special meaning into your life, and to be cherished by you. He says that you and your special someone can become an extension of one another - you can become one - but you can never be two people who own each other. This is better, you think to yourself. You consciously choose to love, rather than to own. You make this decision, knowing fully well that love is love, only when it is free from envy. In a matter of minutes, your attitude changes - you make amends for the hurt you suffered and the hurt you caused.

A happy ending to that wrenching pain, a meaningful beginning to a better relationship.



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